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mccindy72

Why we can’t fix everything for our kids

We all do it. (If we're good parents). We want to do anything and everything to help our children. There are times I'm glad I'm not a Firestarter or I'd have burned the world down for my kids.


When there is something my kids need, all I want to do is get it for them. When they are in pain, I want to stop it. When something is wrong, I want to fix it.


My son(32) lost his cat the night before last. I was home, and went with him to the emergency vet. It was incredibly sudden-he was watching a show upstairs while his cat suddenly went rigid beside him. When he brought the cat down, I his back half was lifeless and he was vomiting and crying out in pain. I held as we rushed to the vet. His face was in rictus- mouth with open and tongue curled out. I didn't know what to do. I've never seen anything so horrible happen to an animal in my life. He seemed to be fighting me, so I handed him to my son, and he relaxed as much as he could be said to relax in such a state.


The vet said a clot must have broken loose in his heart and lodged in his spine. From what I've read and what I saw that night, there must also have been something that caused laryngeal paralysis as well. That matches the symptoms of the rictus and drooling.


There was no choice but to put him down, and it was the kindest thing to do. He was in agonizing pain.


The reason I share this horrible experience is how it affected my son. The cat he loved for 13 years, that he adopted after that kitten was rescued from a ditch, died in an awful way, and he witnessed it all. One second his cat was lying next to him, snuggling and enjoying pets. The next he was dying.


Now my son, my child is buried in grief. It's I experienced last year when I lost my own dog, who was in terrible pain from cancer. Her death was not instantaneous like this though.


As a mother I wish I could spare my child this pain. I wish I could take away the hurt. But this is life. All I can do is support him through it and let him know I understand. My one piece of advice being :the stronger the love you had, the more grief you must live with.


We cannot fix the world for our children, or they will never learn to fend for themselves. They must to learn in their own and we can only stand back and be ready to help when they ask.


They have to learn to fly on their own.

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