I read something recently, about an elderly man who was asked how old he felt. His answer basically said he still felt the boy he was inside himself. I think that's pretty neat, and I'm happy for him.
My honest wish would be for everyone who had a happy childhood or has been happy with who they are at some point in their lives to be able to keep that person inside them as the years pass.
I wouldn't keep the child I was, because they were miserably unhappy. I've always said I felt about 32 in my head, because that just kind of felt right. I loved my 30s and my 40s. Despite surgeries and diagnoses, I truly felt good about myself almost all the time.
I'm in a different place now. I can't find that person anymore. Instead I find only a person who feels worn down by the constant pain, the physical struggle of day-to-day existence.
In the last three years I've lost both of my dogs. People scoff at the bond some of us have with our dogs, but my dogs were incredible. They loved me unconditionally. To have that kind of constant love-and to lose both of them-particularly the dog I lost last year-is unbearable.
I have to tell you (the you who is reading this), keep them with you, that inner person who is the you whom you love. Don't let go. Be like that man who said he still felt like the boy he was. If that person is lost, the joy can go with them.
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