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mccindy72

The ticking clock of life

Last year in May was ten years from my original brain cancer diagnosis. I was told then that the prognosis was 5-10 years. I connected with a group of others with the same grade 2 brain cancer as I have, and by five years after, all of them had died.


I've never had a recurrence. In March of 2022 I had a second surgery for what the doctors thought was tumor growth in the cavity where the original tumor was removed. It turned out to be sudden scar tissue growth, which is extremely rare. The only explanation my neuro-oncologist had was a nearby blood source: a vein from a venous anomaly I was born with.


Before I had that surgery, I used to get an MRI every six months to keep an eye on the remaining tumor. They couldn't take any of the remaining tumor out that sits on my motor cortex because every time they tried, I had a seizure. My doctor explained that if they had continued, I would have been paralyzed. So there is no possibility of the tumor ever being removed. The type of tumor I have tentacles into the brain. After the surgery, they increased my MRIs to every three months.


This leads to the increase in concern after the scar tissue grew by itself; probably after feeding off the blood in that nearby vein. If the tumor finds it, it can feed off it.


In July of 2022, the MRI showed what's called a T2 flair, which means the scan lit up after the contrast was applied. It wasn't enough to alarm the doctors at that time, but they still scan me every three months. So far the flair hasn't changed, and the doc says there are good options for treatment if it does. He thinks it's possible it could be 5-10 years if that upgrade doesn't happen.


But I'm not fooling myself. I never have. Since day one, I've always known my life will be shorter than most people expect theirs to be. Since that second surgery, I'm more fatigued than I used to be. I often sleep ten hours a night at least. I'm definitely in a different mindset than I was ten years ago.


Facing reality is something I've always done. I don't fear death. I'll just regret missing everything I'll leave behind.

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